Tuesday, November 23, 2010

North Korea needs to back the EFF off.

Come on!  COOMMMEEEE ONNNNNNNNN!  Kim Jong-Il is getting pretty close to kicking the bucket and while I know he wants to go out in style, there's no reason for him to go out and ruin my 2nd home.  I don't know if you've noticed, but I kind of like it here.  I even like the food now.  Samgyupsal, bulgogi, sangyetang, galbitang... and kimchi! Nom nom nom.  But no. KJI is trying to take it all away from me with his uranium enrichment facilities and his torpedos and his heavy artillery.  Not fair, Kim Jong-Il.  Not fair

This guy has some serious ego problems.  To be fair, he got it from his daddy.  Anyone who makes people call him "Supreme Leader" has got some problematic issues or a little ween.  Take this excerpt from a newpaper detailing Kim Jong-Il's birthday.

"Official [North Korean] accounts say that he was born on February 16, 1942, on Mount Paektu, a sacred site for Koreans, with a double rainbow and a bright star marking the event. 

Most analysts believe he was in fact born in Siberia, where his father was in exile from Japanese colonisers."

A double rainbow? Bahaha. They couldn't think of anything better than a double rainbow?  Rumor has it that when I was born a choir of unicorns gathered at my cradle and sang "Isn't she lovely" by Stevie Wonder while dancing the Macarena and showering guests with Thanksgiving side dishes.  What?  It's true.

Whatever the real story is, the fact remains that KJI is a little off his rocker.  I've never actually feared for my safety the entire time that we've lived here.  I've kind of gauged the severity of certain situations by the reactions of my Korean counterparts.  For example, when the Cheonan sank many of my Korean co-teachers said that it was extremely sad and tragic but that they were never scared of North Korea.  I actually never even saw any coverage of it on the news.  I didn't even hear a single Korean person mention a word about the incident a few weeks back when some gunfire was exchanged between South and North Korean guards at the DMZ.

Today was a little different.  After seeing the news plastered on every media site on the web, I found myself in a local kimbap shop in awe at the ominous silence as everyone in the packed shop was glued to the television.  "Uh-oh", I thought to myself.  When the Koreans worry, I worry.  And while I still don't feel any imminent threats from the north just yet, you best believe the boy and I are going to exchange some of our won into good ol' USD should we have to leave.  And aside from the fact that we live right next to POSCO (which is the world's 2nd largest producer of steel and one of Korea's national gems) and that Pohang is the current president's home town (ouch), I feel pret-ty good.  

In conclusion, KJI needs to stop trying to be gangsta and go back to his Korean dramas and Elizabeth Taylor fascination.  Let me continue to enjoy my kimchi and I (and the rest of the world) will be extremely happy.   Thank you and good night.

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