Your Daily Gem.

I know that as a teacher you're not supposed to have favorites however, I have a class of sweet, sweet children and they're pretty darn close to being my favorites.  Every day before class they'll all come and find me and say, "Come on teacher.  Let's go to class".  Little Emily will even grab my hand and say, "My best friend Tawny teacher". 

The other day we were sitting in class and one of them decided to declare their adoration for me.

Lucia: Teacher, I love you.

Emily: Tawny teacher, I love you and you love me.

Julie:  Teacher, I really really love you.

Peter:  Teacher, I like... gorillas.

Your Daily Gem.

I should really change the title of these posts.  They're no longer daily.  They should be titled, "Your once in a while, whenever Tawny feels like it- Gem".  I'm working on it.  My students are still as high-larious as ever but it's so normal for me now that I am rarely caught off guard.

This post is brought to you by Tommy.  He can't be older than 6.  He's a little rascal, let me tell you.  He came to the school a few weeks ago and brought with him little-to-no grasp of the English language.  He spent the first two weeks just repeating everything that I said.  He'd often get in trouble since the other students would tattle on him every time he spoke Korean.  He would then look at me with angel eyes, point to the accuser and shout, "Teacher!  He speak Korean!".  I think it was the first phrase that he learned in English.  

Well someone must have recently taught the kid the word "panties" (it wasn't me this time) because he was using it as every other word.  Green panties.  Dirty panties.  Elephant panties.  I was just so thrilled to see him speaking English that I couldn't help but smile and laugh. 

He caught me laughing and slowly looked me up and down.  He then carefully, in nearly perfect English said, "Teacher.  BIG panties".

Thank you Tommy.  I'm going to go run now. 

The only Child...

that Chris likes.

Seriously.  The boy in enamored.   Annie has captured his heart and I've never seen him take so well to a small human being.  He normally can't handle little children, but I guess Annie is a anomaly.

Annie is the same Annie that said her eraser could erase my face and that her fist can break things... like my face.  She also told me that I am smart, but not as smart as her.  Her English is nearly flawless and she has quite the personality.  I spend the majority of our class together trying to convince her to stop picking up heavy objects (like her desk) to convince me of how strong she is.

If Chris had a child, it would be Annie.  She told me that she's a "local celebrity" in her town because all of the "old grandma people" think that she's oh-so smart.  To her credit, she is.  She hasn't even started elementary school yet. 

Yesterday, Annie revealed that it was her last week at Langcon.  She won't be able to come anymore since she is starting elementary school and won't have any time.  I told her that she was going to break Chris's heart and she just laughed in my face.

Annie will definitely be missed. 

Is this appropriate?

This picture does not adequately portray "shy".  There's nothing "shy" about this picture.  Embarrassed maybe, but not shy.  I could think of a million other words that this picture would go with.  "Flasher" maybe.  "Pervert".  "Awkward".  "Naughty". "Walk of shame".  But not shy.

I didn't get to review my flashcards before my class of 1st grade girls.  To be fair, they normally don't include pictures of buck naked men.  I was a little surprised when I unwittingly held up the card and all of the girls started wildly screaming and hiding under their desks.

"Teacher!  That man is dirty!  Very VERY dirty!". 

"Teacher why man no panties?"

"Teacher, what that?"

Let's just say that I learned my lesson. I now carefully review my flashcards before I take them to class.

Drinking Games are Fun for Everyone

Even small Korean children. 

Just wait a minute before you go and start judging.  I've actually taken a ubiquitous college drinking game and made it not only fun and appropriate for small children- but also educational.  I've started playing this with my 10 year-olds and they lurve it. 

The game is called Kings aka Kings Cup aka Ring of Fire.

So as most of you know, the game would usually be played with a deck of cards and a few beers.  You have one empty class in the middle and you spread out the deck of cards [face down] around the empty class.  Each card, Ace through King, has a specific meaning and/or action that goes along with it.  For example, the 9 card means rhyme.  I would get to choose a word and we'd have to go around in a circle taking turns coming up with rhyming words. 

Easy peasy, no?

 

I've obviously had to alter the game a little bit.  I don't need my kids running home to mommy and daddy telling them that Tawny teacher made them drink something that made them feel funny and sleepy.  I've been using a point system.  Each student starts with 25 points and I subtract points from there.  The first person to lose all of their points in the lah-hoo-ser.  Here are my child-friendly rules that I implement in my "Korean Kings" game.

Ace: "Ace in your face".  Each child has to take a card and stick it on their forehead.  The student whose card falls off first is the loser and gets -2 points.

2: "Two-You".  The student gets to pick any other player to lose two of their points.

3: "Three-Me".  If you draw this card then you get -3 points.

4: "Four.. uh, girls".  All girls get -2 points.

5: "I have never".  This one's pretty good.  Everyone holds up 5 fingers and we go around saying things that we've never done.  "I've never eaten kimchi".  "I've never been to the USA".  If you have done any of the things you must put a finger down.  The first person to lose all 5 fingers gets -2 points.

6: "Six is for... boys". All boys get -2 points.

7: "Seven Heaven".  (This gives me an appropriate time to teach them about heaven). Everyone has to raise their hands to heaven.  The last person to raise their hand gets -2 points.

8: "ABCs":  The student that drew the cards gets to go first.  They have to think of a work that begins with "A" (i.e. apple).   The next person has to think of a word that starts with "B" (boat).  Sounds easy, but when English isn't your first language it can be a little challenging.  I give the students only 3 seconds to come up with an answer and they have to make sure they use the appropriate letter of the alphabet. 

9: "Nine-Rhyme":  See!  I've even incorporated phonics in the game! The person who drew the card gets to pick a word and we go around in a circle thinking of rhyming words.  The student who cannot come up with a rhyming word loses 2 points.

10: "Categories": The card holder gets to choose a category.  Any category.  It could be "Disney Princesses", "Different kids of kimchi", or "Animals that are pink".  The person that cannot name anything that fits into the category loses -you guessed it- two points. 

Jack: "Jack Back".  You change directions of the circle and the person whose turn it is next loses 2 points.

Queen: "Queen Questions":  You basically go around in a circle and ask questions, but only questions.  If you answer a question instead of ask one, or if you can't think of a question, you lose 2 points.

King:  Whoever pulls a King gets to make up a rule and gets an additional 5 points.  The student's favorite rule is "Moose".  The person who pulls the king can say "moose" (and put their hands as their antlers) at any time throughout the game.  The last person to follow suit loses 2 points.  Another crowd favorite is the "thumb master".  Whenever this person puts their thumb on the table, the last person to notice loses 2 points.

I can't even tell you how much the kids love this game.  It keeps them talking the entire time and it's better than bingo, hangman, or go fish.  It also keeps them thinking on their toes.  Let's just hope that it doesn't dawn on them while at a future college party that "Tawny teacher" taught them this game when they were in 3rd grade. 

Phone Teaching.

Once a month, those of us teaching at Langcon English Academy are expected to call all of our students and conduct a 5 minute interview/conversation with them.  While it's always at the end of the day and I'm usually extremely tired, the conversations that I overhear are high-larious.  It's even better since I can only hear the boy and Claire talking and not the kids on the other end of the line.

A few of my favorites of the night were...

Chris:  How are you? .... You are "yippy kai yay"? 

Claire:  Yoboseyo!?  No Korean, Louis.  Louis?  What are you doing?  Louis?  (As I hear someone randomly screaming through the receiver).

Chris: Who do you love?  [long empty pause.]  Do you love your mom?  No.  Well then, do you love your dad?  No, not him either?

I also had a few gems with my kids.  My first was when I called little Andy.  I told him that it was Tawny teacher from Langcon and that we had phone teaching.  His response was, "Yeah yeah yeah.  So what?"

I also had 8-year old Jenny tell me that she hadn't eaten dinner yet because her parents were on a date and they didn't bring her back food yet.

My favorite of the night was when I called Leon's house.  I thought it was strange that there was a loud echo in the background.  I asked what he was doing expecting him to tell me that he was eating dinner like the rest of my students.  Instead he nonchalantly responded with, "Teacher.  I'm cleaning my body". 

Phone teaching might secretly be one of my favorite things to do at Langcon.

Oh!  On a somewhat related note- little Jacob had a wee little temper tantrum today while we were learning our "ph" sounds.   He threw his book and started flailing on the floor because he didn't want to spell "Philippines".  He claimed it was "a bad one" because it was too long of a word. 

Your Daily Gem.

Wow.  Haven't had one of these in a while.  To be honest, the kids are still as hilarious as ever... I think I'm just getting used to it.  They come up with the most random sayings and I usually find that I'm chuckling to myself in almost every class. 

Yesterday my student Andy was talking about how my beau (who happens to be my co-teacher for the class) gave everyone nicknames.

"Jenny is called 'Princess Jenny' because she is very kind and pretty.  Isaac is called 'Sir Isaac' because he is smart and like a king.  I am called 'Trouble' because I am very silly.  I'm so very silly.  You can call me Steve."

Um, what?  I tried to ask him what he meant, but to no avail.  He just repeated that his name is Andy but I could call him "Steve".  I even asked Chris if he had anything to do with it and he was just as surprised. 

Silly Andy.  Or is it Steve?

Your Daily Gem.

Well, the boy has been transferred to my school.  We now get to be coworkers again!  Today was his first day and I was so excited for him to be able to put names to the faces of all of the students that I've been talking about over the past five months.  He actually co-teaches little Annie with me.  Yes, the same girl that says she's going to "erase my face" and that her "fists can break things".  I'm her first teacher and the boy has her straight after me.  He was able (with her help) to contribute to today's daily gem.

The boy and Annie were discussing the characteristics of mammals today.  They went over the facts that mammals give their babies milk, and that they have fur, ears and teeth.  The boy was quizzing Annie on different animals and asked, "Well, is your dad a mammal?"

Annie responded with, "Yes.  My dad is a mammal because he has many, many, many fur" as she points to her crotch. 

Gross?  Definitely.  But I couldn't stop laughing for about 10 minutes.  She's funny, that one.

Your Daily Gem.

Today is the big term test at my school.  I was trying to stress to one of my younger classes that it was very important for them to take their time during the test.  I didn't want any of them to rush through it and end up making silly mistakes. 

Me: So remember, I want you to take your time.  Go slow.  

Julie: Yes teacher.  Like turtle.

Me: Yes Julie, slow like a turtle.

Emily: Not like rabbit.

Me: Exactly.  

Lucia: Not like eagle. 

Your Daily Gem.

Andy:  Teacher, if I die you must not go to my funeral.

Me:  Why can't I go to your funeral Andy?

Andy:  Because you are much older so when I die you will already be died. 

Me:  What if I live a really long time and I'm still alive?

Andy:  Sorry teacher, you are old.

Your Daily Gem.

Today in class we were going over our new vocabulary words.  One of the words was "kidnap".  I asked the students if they knew what it meant. 

Jenny explained, "Teacher, kidnap is like "Andy come in my van and I give you candy".  That is kidnap". 

Your Daily Gem.

My 3rd graders had their language arts pop quiz today and the word "shiver" was in one of the answers.  Now, the way that Korean children pronounce "shiver" makes it sound more like "shibal" which is an extremely bad word in Korea.  This whole coincidence led one of my students to ask me to tell them naughty words in English.  I gave the usual speech about how they shouldn't learn them because if they go to America and say bad words people will cut off their fingers one by one. 

Sweet and quiet Clark was sitting in the corner concentrating pretty hard.  You could tell that he was desperately trying to remember something.  I saw a light bulb go off and he eagerly raised his hand and asked, "Teacher, son of a bitch?"

Don't know where he learned that. 

I think I've got myself an admirer...

A Day in the Life...

of a hagwon teacher.


There are really three types of English teachers in Korea.  You have the public school teachers who get more job security and significantly more vacation days.  You have the teachers who teach private lessons and make bank but risk getting deported back to their homeland because it's illegal.  Then you have the ubiquitous hagwon teachers.  These teachers work at after school academies for slightly more money but fewer vacation days.

I am the latter.

My school caters to elementary school students.  These kids have already spent their entire day at public school and then they come to us for 2 more hours- sometimes more.  Classes are either 2, 3, or 5 days a week.  It's insane just how much Korean children attend some form of school.  I fully plan on threatening to send my future children to Korea if they misbehave in any way.  That'll teach 'em.

So what is a typical day like at my school?  Why here, let me show you...

First things first, don a face mask.  Swine flu's been wreaking havoc on our school and little children tend to spread disease faster than I can say "holy swine flu batman".   Also, all of the teachers share one large teacher's lounge where we spend a few hours of our day.  If one gets sick, others will surely follow.

We get to work at around 1 pm.  Our first class starts at 2:30.   It gives us a good hour and a half to get all of our lessons planned and prepared for the day.  It's also when we usually eat our lunch.  Something about our school makes us hungry all.the.time.  The second I walk through the door I find myself instantly famished.  We also usually teach all day with only 5 minutes in between classes.  We normally take that time to stuff our faces with cereal or peanut buttered bread.  nom nom nom.

At 2:30 the bell rings (Pachelbel's Canon, mind you) and I spend the remainder of my day forming young minds like these...

Julie

Sweet Emily

Showing off their work.

Jenny giving me her pose

Jenny wanted to take my picture & even told me how to pose

Silly Andy

My biggest class boasting some of my youngest students.

These are just a handful of the classes that I teach.  I can have anywhere from one to ten students in a class.  You must meet Jacob.

Jacob holds a special place in all of our hearts at Langcon.  He's notorious for his little tantrums.  Most of them involve throwing his backpack and trying to rip his school books.  Lucky for me, I get to teach the handsome little devil.  Don't let this picture fool you.  I had to tame him with that cup of valium cereal.  He comes on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays but he hates, nay- despises Wednesdays.  That's when we work out of his least favorite book.  I usually spend the majority of the class trying to talk him out of eating his book.  Today I told him that he'd have a real hard time trying to find a girlfriend if he kept up with his bad attitude.  His response?  "Teacher is ugly."  Head meet desk. 

At 7:35 the last bell rings and all of us teachers head back to our lounge to unwind and get things in order for the following day.  The day actually flies by, especially with back to back classes.  It's also nice to work with the co-teachers that I have.  We can usually find the humor in any situation and having them there makes the "work" more enjoyable. 

And there you have it.  A little peek at my work days.

Your Daily Gem.

So it's not the usual funny gem that I normally post, but this one completely melted my heart.  I have a student named Lily and she's probably no older than 5.  She's absolutely adorable and she always rushes to me the moment that she sees me and gives me a big hug.  When I walked into the school today the first thing I did was ask my co-teachers if anything had gone wrong in my absence. Claire told me, "Lily cried... and it was your fault."  My heart sunk.  I figured I had forgotten to tell the substitute something about her class and that she was stressed or upset and couldn't help but cry. 
 
Apparently, a few minutes into her class Lily started to quietly sob.  No one really knew why and Anna, our Korean co-teacher went in the room to talk to her.  She asked her if she was sick, or if she needed to go to the bathroom, or if she wanted to call her mom.  She would only quietly shake her head no.  After a few minutes Anna asked, "Are you crying because you miss Tawny teacher?" and poor, sweet little Lily nods her head yes. 

What's that sound?  It's me.  Mopping my heart up off the floor. 

Your Daily Gem.

Andy: Teacher, give me one more sticker.

Me: What?  Why do you think I should give you another sticker?

Andy: Because teacher... you are beauty.

Me: [with a sigh]... here you go.

Let it be known that it's the nicest thing Andy's ever said to me.   Ever.

I feel it in my fingers... I feel it in my toes.

Christmas is all around us.  It's everywhere I go!

Ten bazillion points if you can name what movie that's from.  If you don't know, you should google it and then watch it.  Ten bazillion times. 

It's Christmas time Ladies and Gents.  What does that mean for us English teachers in South Korea?  It means another year lacking candy canes, real Christmas trees, absurdly over decorated store fronts, and crowded shopping malls.  Christmas isn't really big in Korea.  At least not in Pohang.  Our main shopping street won't get Christmas lights put up until next week.  Yes, it takes them forever to put them up, but oddly enough, they keep them up until mid-February. 

Christmas time also brings with it our school Christmas party.  My fellow co-workers and I got started 3 hours earlier than usual this morning so that we could shop around for decorations for our partay. 

This is what we found.

At first glance it appears to be a wonderful Christmas wonderland, until you realize that it's quite possibly all of the decorations in Korea.  This was quite literally everything that we found.  We settled on some festive hats, tinsel, wrapping paper, ribbons, and supplies for our Christmas craft. 

Ahh yes, I chose the reindeer hat.  I thought it was awesome.  Awesome until little angel Andy came up to me and said, "Teacher you are a reindeer!" to which I responded, "Yes Andy, I am".  He then explained to me, "But teacher reindeer have thin legs and yours are thick!"  Thank you for that Andy, you little gem, you.

Claire got to work on creating a beautiful snowman while I made little presents to hang everywhere.  Aria and Landis, being the taller girls in the group, hung everything up for us.

We'll be staying late tomorrow night in order to get everything finished.  Luckily our boss knows how to get things done.  She simply asks what food she needs to buy us in order to keep us happy.  I think tomorrow's dinner will consist of Korean hangover soup (oh.so.good.) and Baskin Robbins ice cream (almond bon-bon for moi).  I might take it all with a little side of cough medicine.  I've been feeling a little under the weather and it's flu season again.  All of our students are coming to school wearing their masks.  We decided to take preventative measures and now all of my co-teachers and I have our very own masks. 

I'll be sure to keep you updated on our Christmas progress.  I won't actually be able to attend the party since the boy and I will be on a wee vacation!  I'm actually a little disappointed that I won't get to see all the kiddos enjoy the Christmas fun but I definitely need this vacation.  Sun, sand and delicious food- here we come!

On Another Note...

My co-teacher Aria made this little video about one of the girls that we teach.  Her name is Annie and she is quite the spitfire.  We actually have her tomorrow and she kind of scares me just a little bit.  She's 6 years old and looks absolutely adorable.  Looks can be deceiving.  Take a look at an average day with Annie... and yes, she's said all of the things in the video to at least one of us. 

a

To put faces to their names...

Here's a little clippity clip of some of the kiddos that I teach.  You'll actually get to see what Andy, Isaac and Jenny look like as they're regularly featured in my "Your Daily Gem" posts.  These kids are awesome and they like to keep every day interesting and different.  If you haven't read my posts on them or don't remember, you should probably click here or here or here.

You'll also meet Leon.  I had a [horribly drawn] giraffe on the white board and I was asking my students to come up with adjectives to describe my giraffe.  Olivia has said, "long neck", Tara added, "short tail" and Leon said, "Teacher, your giraffe has a big booty".  These kids make my day.  for real.
 
I apologize for my annoying teacher voice and shaky camera skills in advance.  

Your Daily Gem.

Annie: Teacher, give me stickers.

Me: Tell me why I should give you stickers.

Annie:  You are very smart.  You are as smart as Einstein... but not as smart as me.