Your Daily Gem.

I know that as a teacher you're not supposed to have favorites however, I have a class of sweet, sweet children and they're pretty darn close to being my favorites.  Every day before class they'll all come and find me and say, "Come on teacher.  Let's go to class".  Little Emily will even grab my hand and say, "My best friend Tawny teacher". 

The other day we were sitting in class and one of them decided to declare their adoration for me.

Lucia: Teacher, I love you.

Emily: Tawny teacher, I love you and you love me.

Julie:  Teacher, I really really love you.

Peter:  Teacher, I like... gorillas.

Your Daily Gem.

I should really change the title of these posts.  They're no longer daily.  They should be titled, "Your once in a while, whenever Tawny feels like it- Gem".  I'm working on it.  My students are still as high-larious as ever but it's so normal for me now that I am rarely caught off guard.

This post is brought to you by Tommy.  He can't be older than 6.  He's a little rascal, let me tell you.  He came to the school a few weeks ago and brought with him little-to-no grasp of the English language.  He spent the first two weeks just repeating everything that I said.  He'd often get in trouble since the other students would tattle on him every time he spoke Korean.  He would then look at me with angel eyes, point to the accuser and shout, "Teacher!  He speak Korean!".  I think it was the first phrase that he learned in English.  

Well someone must have recently taught the kid the word "panties" (it wasn't me this time) because he was using it as every other word.  Green panties.  Dirty panties.  Elephant panties.  I was just so thrilled to see him speaking English that I couldn't help but smile and laugh. 

He caught me laughing and slowly looked me up and down.  He then carefully, in nearly perfect English said, "Teacher.  BIG panties".

Thank you Tommy.  I'm going to go run now. 

Your Daily Gem.

There are an overwhelming amount of young boys at our school with the name Jack.  I know it's a catchy name and it's probably one of the most popular when it comes to movies and folk tales.

We've got Jack in the Box, Jack and the beanstalk, Jack (and Jill), that nimble Jack with the candlesticks, Jack the ripper, Jack Frost, Jack Dawson from Titanic, Captain Jack Sparrow, Jack Kerouac, Jack Johnson, Jack Black, Jack Bauer, even Jack Russell terriors...

Jack can also be found in various compound words and phrases.  Jackknife, Jackpot, Jackhammer, Jack-O-Lantern, hiJACK.  The list goes on and on.  It's no wonder our Korean co-teacher had to make up nicknames for the 3 Jacks in her class.

There's Jack K1 and Jack K2- aptly named because both of them have Kim as their surname.  She also exclaimed, "I call the other one Jack S!"  The teacher's room immediately fell silent and I think someone dropped their chopsticks. 

We slowly looked at Anna and I carefully asked the obvious question.  "Anna, do you really call him jackass?"

Your Daily Gem.

Much to my dismay I no longer teach Andy, Isaac and Jenny.  Their absence is a direct correlation to my lack of recent daily gems.  Luckily my co-teacher Claire has been picking up the slack.  She recently gave us this gem.

While sitting in class. 

Andy:  Teacher, I have a great idea.

Claire:  What's your idea Andy?

Andy:  Umm... I don't have leprosy. 

He then looks at the other student in class and says, "Don't worry Isaac.  You don't have leprosy either." 

Your Daily Gem.

Today's Gem comes from the beau.  Chris now has the task of teaching sweet, angel Jacob.  If you don't remember him, you can visit this post.  He apparently loves Chris and is usually on his best behavior for him.  He's a completely different student now.  He's even nicer to me!

A few days ago, Chris gave his class their daily vocabulary quiz.  When Jacob was finished with his quiz he gave it to Chris so that he could correct it.  He got all of the answers right except for one.  The sentence was, "The bird that you eat on Thanksgiving".  Poor Jacob had written down "hummingbird". 

Chris took out his red correcting pen and began to write the correct answer.  He got the T-U-R in before Jacob snatched the paper from his hand, ran to the back of the classroom, and started to erase his previous answer. 

After a few minutes Jacob approached Chris with his paper.  Chris looked down at the new answer.  Jacob had gone over the red T-U-R in pencil as to appear that it hadn't been corrected at all. 

His new answer?  Turringbird. 

Your Daily Gem.

Well we have some exciting new developments this week.  On Monday our replacements arrived fresh from Canada.  Christie and Brad are starting their first year as ESL teachers in Korea.  w00t w00t.  Christie is joining the Langcon team while Brad will be spending his time at our Boss's other school. 

Today Christie shadowed me through all of my classes.  The students were very inquisitive and had a ton of questions for Christie.  I was a little shocked at a request that Christie and I had from two students.
 Keep in mind, two completely different students in two completely different classes asked the same thing from us. 

Both "incidents" happened in the same fashion.  I would introduce Christie teacher.  The students would then look at Christie, then back at me.  This would be repeated a few times before one would inexplicably shout...

"Tawny teacher.  Christie teacher.  You kiss.  KISS."

Erm, what?! 

Yes.  Two different students around the age of 10 requested that Christie and I kiss.  Kiss each other.  I have NO idea what that's about.  One can only assume that there's been a recent influx of girl-on-girl action on their nightly soap operas. 

Your Daily Gem.

So this week has been a very busy one for us at work.  We've gotten so many new students and it's been hectic trying to keep track of our new schedules.  I haven't had as many Daily Gems lately and I attribute it to the fact that I no longer teach Andy, Isaac, and Jenny.  Those kids gave me most of my material.  However, one of my newest students, Jackson gave me this little treat...

We were talking about fiction and non-fiction and our book asked us if "The Life and Times of Robert Kennedy" was fiction or non-fiction.  This prompted this question from Jackson.

"Teacher!  You know Obama?" -Jackson

"Yes, I do know of President Obama." -Me

"Teacher, you know Obama big erection?" -Jackson

"Um, I'm sorry.  What?!" -Me

"Obama erection, teacher.  You see the erection in America?  You vote?" -Jackson

"Ohhhhh... the election.  E-L-ECTION.  Yes." -Me

Those L's and R's sure can be tricky.

Is this appropriate?

This picture does not adequately portray "shy".  There's nothing "shy" about this picture.  Embarrassed maybe, but not shy.  I could think of a million other words that this picture would go with.  "Flasher" maybe.  "Pervert".  "Awkward".  "Naughty". "Walk of shame".  But not shy.

I didn't get to review my flashcards before my class of 1st grade girls.  To be fair, they normally don't include pictures of buck naked men.  I was a little surprised when I unwittingly held up the card and all of the girls started wildly screaming and hiding under their desks.

"Teacher!  That man is dirty!  Very VERY dirty!". 

"Teacher why man no panties?"

"Teacher, what that?"

Let's just say that I learned my lesson. I now carefully review my flashcards before I take them to class.

Your Daily Gem.

Wow.  Haven't had one of these in a while.  To be honest, the kids are still as hilarious as ever... I think I'm just getting used to it.  They come up with the most random sayings and I usually find that I'm chuckling to myself in almost every class. 

Yesterday my student Andy was talking about how my beau (who happens to be my co-teacher for the class) gave everyone nicknames.

"Jenny is called 'Princess Jenny' because she is very kind and pretty.  Isaac is called 'Sir Isaac' because he is smart and like a king.  I am called 'Trouble' because I am very silly.  I'm so very silly.  You can call me Steve."

Um, what?  I tried to ask him what he meant, but to no avail.  He just repeated that his name is Andy but I could call him "Steve".  I even asked Chris if he had anything to do with it and he was just as surprised. 

Silly Andy.  Or is it Steve?

Your Daily Gem.

So today I had my class with the lovely Jacob.  If you don't remember him, you can take a little peek at this post. 

He was being his usual melancholic self.  He was pretty upset that he couldn't find his eraser and so I let him borrow one of mine.  It took me a while to notice the initials "A.T." on the bottom of the eraser.  I know that Jacob's a little scared of my fellow co-teacher Aria (who happends to be on vacation back in the States) and I told him to be careful because it was Aria Teacher's eraser. 

Jacob stared at me for a long while.  I was just about to ask him what he was thinking when he grabbed the eraser and slowly licked it from top to bottom.  He then smiled creepily and said mischieviously, "Thank you Aria teacher". 

And he continued to lick the eraser every time he needed it.  Ohhh Jacob.

Your Daily Gem.

Well, the boy has been transferred to my school.  We now get to be coworkers again!  Today was his first day and I was so excited for him to be able to put names to the faces of all of the students that I've been talking about over the past five months.  He actually co-teaches little Annie with me.  Yes, the same girl that says she's going to "erase my face" and that her "fists can break things".  I'm her first teacher and the boy has her straight after me.  He was able (with her help) to contribute to today's daily gem.

The boy and Annie were discussing the characteristics of mammals today.  They went over the facts that mammals give their babies milk, and that they have fur, ears and teeth.  The boy was quizzing Annie on different animals and asked, "Well, is your dad a mammal?"

Annie responded with, "Yes.  My dad is a mammal because he has many, many, many fur" as she points to her crotch. 

Gross?  Definitely.  But I couldn't stop laughing for about 10 minutes.  She's funny, that one.

Your Daily Gem.

Today is the big term test at my school.  I was trying to stress to one of my younger classes that it was very important for them to take their time during the test.  I didn't want any of them to rush through it and end up making silly mistakes. 

Me: So remember, I want you to take your time.  Go slow.  

Julie: Yes teacher.  Like turtle.

Me: Yes Julie, slow like a turtle.

Emily: Not like rabbit.

Me: Exactly.  

Lucia: Not like eagle. 

Your Daily Gem.

Andy:  Teacher, if I die you must not go to my funeral.

Me:  Why can't I go to your funeral Andy?

Andy:  Because you are much older so when I die you will already be died. 

Me:  What if I live a really long time and I'm still alive?

Andy:  Sorry teacher, you are old.

Your Daily Gem.

Today in class we were going over our new vocabulary words.  One of the words was "kidnap".  I asked the students if they knew what it meant. 

Jenny explained, "Teacher, kidnap is like "Andy come in my van and I give you candy".  That is kidnap". 

Your Daily Gem.

My 3rd graders had their language arts pop quiz today and the word "shiver" was in one of the answers.  Now, the way that Korean children pronounce "shiver" makes it sound more like "shibal" which is an extremely bad word in Korea.  This whole coincidence led one of my students to ask me to tell them naughty words in English.  I gave the usual speech about how they shouldn't learn them because if they go to America and say bad words people will cut off their fingers one by one. 

Sweet and quiet Clark was sitting in the corner concentrating pretty hard.  You could tell that he was desperately trying to remember something.  I saw a light bulb go off and he eagerly raised his hand and asked, "Teacher, son of a bitch?"

Don't know where he learned that. 

Your Daily Gem.

Well this little gem actually comes from yours truly.  A little while ago we were out to eat with a few of our friends.  Aria was telling a story of how she was offering all of us candy at work and how Landis didn't want any.  I decided that it would be an appropriate time to shout, "I had her piece!".  The table abruptly fell silent and a few faces had dropped.  I had no idea what the big problem was.  Finally Claire asked, "You had herpes?"

Definitely won't make that mistake again. 

Your Daily Gem.

Jenny:  Teacher, people are monkeys.

Me:  Is that what you believe?

Jenny:  No teacher, I believe in God.

Me:  Me too, Jenny.

Andy:  Is that "Sky God"?

Isaac:  Teacher, some people believe in Buddha.

Jenny:  Yes.  But teacher, I don't believe in booty.  I believe in sky God.

Your Daily Gem.

We had a little extra time at the end of class today and Andy, Isaac and I decided to play cards.  I was wowing them with my shuffling skills and Isaac told me that my fellow co-teacher Landis, has a hard time shuffling the cards.

Andy responded with, "Well she is a weak lady, Isaac". 

Sorry Landis!

Your Daily Gem.

So I was fortunate enough to have a public school teacher volunteer to cover a few days for me so that we could take our vacation.  From what I hear, Brent was great with the kids and they all seemed to love him.  This was the message that he sent me the day that we returned.  Made me chuckle. 

Hey Tawny,

I hope you had an awesome vacay! So here is what I have learned about you from your kids, (who are all freakin awesome!!! and yes, Jacob cried )

-they all love you to death
-you apparently smell like bananas
-you love eating cheese
-and, from what I gathered, you are from India!!! lol

They were all sweethearts, a few a little crazier than others but all great.

Ahhh... my babies.  I'm glad that they at least listen when I talk to them.  I'm sure everyone already knows about my love affair with cheese.  7 year old Olivia always tells me that I smell like bananas (good bananas, mind you), and none of my students will let me forget that I was a Pocahontas (an "Indian") for our Halloween party.  Kids.  You gotta love 'em. 

Your Daily Gem.

So it's not the usual funny gem that I normally post, but this one completely melted my heart.  I have a student named Lily and she's probably no older than 5.  She's absolutely adorable and she always rushes to me the moment that she sees me and gives me a big hug.  When I walked into the school today the first thing I did was ask my co-teachers if anything had gone wrong in my absence. Claire told me, "Lily cried... and it was your fault."  My heart sunk.  I figured I had forgotten to tell the substitute something about her class and that she was stressed or upset and couldn't help but cry. 
 
Apparently, a few minutes into her class Lily started to quietly sob.  No one really knew why and Anna, our Korean co-teacher went in the room to talk to her.  She asked her if she was sick, or if she needed to go to the bathroom, or if she wanted to call her mom.  She would only quietly shake her head no.  After a few minutes Anna asked, "Are you crying because you miss Tawny teacher?" and poor, sweet little Lily nods her head yes. 

What's that sound?  It's me.  Mopping my heart up off the floor.